Sep 11, 2015 | By Tim Stoddart
5 Reasons You’ll Never Get Sober (And Remain Miserable)
Recovery
Getting sober is hard.
It’s a very strange phenomenon. With all the pain, heartbreak, trouble with the law, family turmoil and ill health that goes hand in hand with addiction – in some ways it is easier to continue using drugs.
Getting sober requires action. It requires doing things that you don’t want to do. Most importantly, it requires you to have faith that in some way somehow, it will all pay off.
That’s why they call it a “leap of faith.” To get sober demands blind faith that what you are doing today, is somehow going to pay off in the future. That is very uncomfortable. It is against the nature of a majority of people.
That is why drug addicts often times find comfort in their misery. It is predictable, it is predetermined. If I take this pill, I will feel a certain way, in a certain amount of time… guaranteed.
For many people, the drugs and alcohol are the comfort zone. It’s like laying in a bed of thorns.
Sobriety has been a doorway into a life of freedom that only those who have been shackled by addiction will ever understand. The problem is, you will never know what freedom feels like. Sorry.
Unless, of course, you can get out of your comfort zone. If you can overcome these roadblocks, you will have everything you need to get and stay sober. You can find freedom.
Let’s get started.
1 – You Can’t Get Honest With Yourself
Let’s not sugar coat this. Getting honest with yourself is not easy. It is much easier to live in denial. The problem is, you can not hide from the truth.
I’ve always considered it to be one of those universal truths. No matter what happens, you always know in your heart what the truth is. It’s much like being in love or knowing if you did your best or not. You just know inside your heart and gut what the truth is.
You can not escape it, you can only deny it. You can only hide in the safe bubble wrap of your false reality.
Getting honest with yourself requires you to be exposed and to be vulnerable. It requires that you see yourself for what you really are. If you want to get sober, you are going to admit that there is a problem.
You are going to have to admit your faults, your insecurities, your mistakes, your lies and find out where that void is really coming from. You are going to be exposed.
2 – You Are Unwilling To Do The Work
Sobriety is not free. Recovery from any substance requires work. It requires you taking the time and making the long-term commitment to work on yourself. It sucks…
You have to be willing to do whatever it takes. You have to be willing to go to that meeting when your favorite TV show is on. You have to be willing to say no to that party or to work on your recovery on a Saturday morning.
Nothing in this world is free.
The reason you will never get sober is because you expect these good things to just happen to you. You expect to be sober and happy without making sacrifices. That’s not the way it works. If you want to get sober, you must earn it.
“Sobriety is not for those that want it, or even for those who need it. It’s for those that do it.”
3 – You Refuse To Have An Open Mind
For most addicts, recovery is a completely new way of life. It is alien and strange and confusing. In order to get clean and sober, you must be open minded to new ideas.
If you are stuck in your ways, if you are convinced that you know best, you will never get sober.
Suggestions will be made that you won’t understand. For instance, I remember my sponsor told me that he wanted me to do something that would help someone else, and he didn’t want me to tell anyone about it.
At the time, I thought it was the single dumbest thing I have ever heard. Why wouldn’t I tell someone? Why wouldn’t I want my good deeds recognized or why wouldn’t I want to speak up about someone who needs help? It didn’t make any sense.
I was open minded, and I get it now. I can’t explain it to you. You have to be open-minded to discover these things for yourself.
If you think you know best and if you are closed-minded, you won’t stay sober. You may get sober for a short time, but eventually your own mind will convince you that you were right all along. Off to the races.
4 – You Don’t Have Stamina
Tell me if you have seen this before.
You’re fresh out of rehab. You’re on fire!
You’re participating in your recovery, you’re taking suggestions, you are doing everything you can. You get maybe 9 months of clean time and you say to yourself, “You know… I can probably take it easy now.”
You sprint right out the gate in your recovery, but eventually you die down. Slowly, old thoughts and obsessions start to creep in. You tell yourself you don’t need to go to that therapy appointment, or you know already know everything you need to know.
3 months later, you’re lying on the bathroom floor with a few empty bottles of bottom shelf liquor. Happens all the time.
I would know. It has happened to me.
I have learned that recovery is a life-long process that requires stamina. It requires you to take your life a step at a time and not get stuck in the past or the future. It requires you to be present.
If you don’t have stamina, you may suffer the most unfortunate result of all. That is to spend your entire life being miserable.
5 – You Simply Don’t Want It
I can’t tell you have many times I have seen this happen.
Let’s pretend that you are drunk or high or in withdrawal. You are begging and pleading for help. You’re family members and loved ones are crushed from what they are witnessing. Yet, you keep on drinking.
Why would a person keep doing this to themselves? It’s actually very simple. It’s what they want to do.
I find that people almost always get what they want. If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it. We can all attest to the miraculous achievements addicts have made when they really really wanted to get high. They can turn pennies into dollars, they can find transportation, they can come up with ingenious ways to manipulate. In some ways, active drug addicts are super human. Imagine if they put that energy into their recovery. So then why don’t they?
The simple truth is that if you don’t want to get sober, you never will.
No matter how much your family begs you or how many times you get arrested, you will need to want to stay sober more than you want to drink. It’s really that simple.
It Is All Worth It
I don’t make promises. I never use the words “trust me.” If someone says those words to me, I immediately think they are lying.
But this is the one thing in life I have found to be true with absolute certainty.
If you can be honest about yourself, if you are willing to do the work, if you can be open-minded to concepts you may not understand then you can get sober. Most importantly, if you want it bad enough you can live the life that you have always wanted. It is absolutely possible, and I believe in you.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but I can promise you that anyone who has done the work will tell you that it was all worth it. I do not think anyone who has done the work will tell you that being sober is not worth the sacrifice.
These people know what it is to be completely free.
Patty
9 years ago
Understanding a sustainable definition of sobriety must be a key point. It is akin to understanding the self and why the self behaves in the way it does – the self’s relationship to the world, the past, the present.
In the past, as much as I thought I wanted to know myself, I was ignoring certain behaviors that were preventing me from taking a clear and honest look at myself. I wanted to believe that I was good (i.e., a good person, good at doing things), when the fact was that I had the potential to be good, but didn’t want to make the efforts to be good.
Taking those efforts would have required me to admit that I wasn’t as good as I had believed, and that would have been painful for me. It would have totally undermined my already-poorly-established sense of self.
I think many people have placed such defense mechanisms, or roadblocks, in the way of understanding who they are and how to see the world. Sobriety means removing these defense-mechanism roadblocks and being content with what you see, content with the truth. The content proceeds from the realization that truth always exists (notwithstanding moot arguments), which makes it fairly stable.
The truth is not accessible to those who are not sober, and this allows them to ignore and dismiss their flawed selves, things of which they are ashamed or angry. Ironically, when one is given a tenable understanding of sobriety, is willing to work for it, and the truth comes to light, then these flaws and imperfections become less painful, even embraceable.
This is because each one of those flaws and imperfections has an acceptable reason behind it – a logical sequence of circumstances and events that usually was beyond the control of the afflicted individual. Alone, this knowledge can be liberating, but maintaining a sustainable sobriety requires an understanding that the problems with addiction affect more than the individual, but also the people around them.
Essential is that the addict does need exposure to people who can help them to see clearly. Left on their own, the addict is likely to revert to the pitfalls of shame and anger. They may not even be able to tell you any positive things about themselves because of their self-hatred and shame. The addict (there must be a better word than “addict”) must be surrounded by people who can point out their good qualities and reason with them when they are unable to see that their self-shame and self-anger are unwarranted.
In short, I thought the Sober Nation article, though containing all true points, lacked an explanation of what sobriety is – not just living with the truth, but also understanding the truth, the self, and one’s relationship with the world. Most addicts are dealing with shame and anger on a more basic level.
I recently posted something on my timeline:
1) Know who you are. What drives you? What are your likes and preferences?
2) Know what you want. What are your goals?
3) Be honest with yourself, and others, ALL THE TIME.
4) Go after what you want, nonstop, with full energy. This involves living in the present, not the past.
Looking at it, I would add honesty second. First would be an understanding of why.
Lastly, sobriety pertains to much more than substance abuse problems. Sobriety is important in domains where addictive chemical substances are not involved; e.g., relationships, egos, worldviews, harmful behaviors towards others and society, video games, etc.
Meditation helps tremendously.
Billy
7 years ago
Wish I could shake off my drug and grog addiction. I wake up every morning shivering and shaking like a dog. I’m on a farm, miles from anywhere. If I could only get sober. Dear God if I could only get sober. I think if only I could die……..
Angel
9 years ago
It’s the PHYSICAL PAIN that is what keeps me from recovery. I have a full time job and an 8 year old son. I cannot be COMPLETELY INCAPACITATED for WEEKS at a time. I have been on pain medication for 8 years STRAIGHT! EVERY SINGLE DAY! When I had my son by c-section, they prescribed me Percocet and I became severely addicted. Right after my son was born, I was 19 years old, was still making bad choices, and at nights when I got off work I’d go out drinking with friends, get drunk, and stay out all night. I didn’t do that for too long before I started working at a job where pain pills were the norm. So I started out taking them recreationally at night instead of drinking, but they gave me energy and I was up ALL night wanting to clean and do stuff. So then I decided I would start taking them in the MORNING so that way they’d give me energy and I’d have energy for the DAY instead of taking them at night and being up all night. Which I was a kinda lazy person before, so I LOVED that they made me feel good and gave me the energy I needed at the same time. Especially being a new mother and NEEDING all that energy. AND it was keeping me from going out drinking then staying out all night. I would come HOME, take a half a pill, and relax. And when I started taking them during the day to give me energy, it seemed a better alternative to the drinking because I was being a “better mom” than I was while I was drinking. Well, that’s where I messed up. I SO WISH I could go back to that day and do everything differently. Knowing what I know now, I WOULD change it ALL! I would give almost ANYTHING to go back to that time and change it. But I always thought I would be able to take them and just stop when I wanted. I started out taking a half. Then a half wouldn’t do anything, so I would take a whole one. Then eventually a whole one wouldn’t work and I’d take 2. Now after taking them EVERY SINGLE DAY for 8 years STRAIGHT, I have built up SUCH a tolerance, that I take 4-5 at a time and up to 15 a day! (And I’m LITTLE!! Im 4’11 and 120lbs!) So you can just IMAGINE the withdrawals I go through after taking SO MANY EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 8 YEARS! I get unbelievable pain, stomach cramps, nausea, hot/cold sweats, SEVERE body temperature irregularities, goosebumps, BAD restless legs, the WORST insomnia where I can’t sleep AT ALL for DAYS, NO appetite, SEVERE irritability, and just LITERALLY CANNOT MOVE OUT OF MY BED!! So with my job and my son, I CANNOT just lay in my bed for weeks to get off of them. Because that’s what it’s take. I’d have to lay in bed for weeks until some of it gets out of my system, then slowly start moving around again. And it’s literally having to RELEARN how to live your life again. Literally EVERYTHING is different! You have to RELEARN sleeping, eating, playing, sex, spending time with anyone, and doing anything. You LITERALLY have to RELEARN how to LIVE again. You have to RELEARN every little thing in your life. So it’s the SEVERE PHYSICAL PAIN I go through, the EXTREMELY HORRIFIC withdrawals I get, and the fact that I would have to RELEARN EVERYTHING in my life that keeps me from my recovery. Even when addiction has ruined my life. I spend ALL MY money AND I take all my bf of 7 years’ money to where we have NOTHING. We each live separate, each in our parents house, we each don’t have vehicles, we each can’t afford even simple everyday things, ALL BECAUSE OF MY ADDICTION!!! We can’t afford to live with each other and have a normal relationship after 7 years because my habit is SO expensive. I take up to 15 pills a day. Sometimes I can find them for $5, but they’re getting so hard to find, that only half the time I CAN find them for $5. The OTHER half of the time, it’s $6,$7, or sometimes even $8!!! And I’m taking 4-5 at a time and up to 15 a day!! At $5, that’s $75 A DAY and $525 A WEEK! (THAT’S a freaking monthly payment on an apartment right there IN ONE WEEK! At $5, that’s $2,250 a MONTH!) At $6, that’s $90 A DAY and $630 A WEEK!!! But I spend all that in drugs and we can’t afford to live together and have a normal life. Even KNOWING all that, knowing how it’s RUINING MY LIFE, I just CANNOT STOP! It’s beyond terrible, I hate it, and I really am ashamed. It’s caused so many problems with me and my bf. We’ve been together so long, live separate, can’t have a normal life, and have NOTHING. He doesn’t do drugs and gets REALLY UPSET a lot of times because of it all. He wants MORE out of life than worrying day to day about where I’M going to get drugs or money for drugs. But STILL knowing I may lose him one day because of it all, I STILL can’t stop. ADDICTION REALLY IS a disease. A terrible one at that. I’m not a bad person. I NEVER steal to support my habit even if it IS so expensive. And I’m not a bad person in general. What happened to me could happen to ANYONE! I’m still me and STILL an amazing, sweet, caring person just this disease has taken ahold of me and won’t let go. I have tried to quit many times but I can’t deal with the EXTREMELY intense withdrawals I go through. I LITERALLY feel like I’m gonna DIE! And so I haven’t ever been able to successfully stop. I don’t WANT to have a little pill CONTROL and RUIN my WHOLE life but I am COMPLETELY powerless over it!! And even knowing that I STILL can’t get away from this EVIL disease that has destroyed everything. Anyone who hasn’t ever been an addict just doesn’t understand. Everyone says “it’s the addicts fault, they’re the ones who started using drugs so they deserve it.” And ALL these people act like they don’t ever go to parties, family get together, work functions, whatever and drink alcohol occasionally. Because that’s what it starts out as. You start using OCCASIONALLY as a social thing and then you become addicted because some people have more addictive personalities than others. It just happens. You start using OCCASIONALLY every now and then, you have fun, you wanna do it some more, you think… Ahhh, I’ll just do it on the weekends or after work and can just stop when I want to… but then you just become addicted without even knowing it! And it DOES happen without you even realizing it! We DON’T ASK or WANT it to happen! We don’t ASK or WANT to have a little pill CONTROL us or RUIN or lives! It starts out small, and you don’t realize you’re addicted UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE! So people who say that we deserve what we get because we’re the ones who started using in the first place don’t KNOW, have never been addicts themselves, have NOT done any kind of research on the subject, and are just ASSHOLES who shouldn’t make judgments on something that they DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT! And anyone who says that addiction is not a disease also don’t know what they’re talking about either. They’ve never been so sick, crying your eyes out, and you wish it would stop but it won’t. They don’t understand the struggles AT ALL! And it breaks my heart. All of it breaks my heart. The people who don’t understand what us active drug users go through. How we’d LOVE TO be in recovery but we just CAN’T! They don’t understand the DAILY STRUGGLES we go through with ourselves and everyone else. It breaks my heart being an active drug user and not being able to live a normal life. I envy the people that can just… go to work and not have to take ANYTHING TO be able to go to work. Or to be able to spend time with family, go anywhere, eat, sleep, or do ANYTHING without having to make sure they have enough pills to do it. And if you don’t…having to worry about HOW or WHERE you’re going to get it. It SUCKS! I would LOVE to be able to be in recovery but I can’t do it by myself and rehab is COMPLETELY NOT an option for me AT ALL unfortunately. If it was, I’d be in one SO FAST it’s not even funny. But there ARE NO recovery options for me. So this article is COMPLETELY TRUE!! I unfortunately probably WILL remain an addict and remain miserable. The only thing I can hope for is that I can continue to up my tolerance to where I take more and more to where I eventually overdose and FINALLY put myself, and all my loved ones that I ruined THEIR life too, out of our misery! 🙁
Katie S
9 years ago
there’s medications to help you detox off of pain pills..
also, when people are so closed minded and feel that there’s no possible way it’ll work, then it won’t. if you think of something with a negative perspective, you won’t want that. your mind associates sobriety with pain. whereas my mind associates it with contentment. it’s hard, it sucks, but kicking the withdrawals is just the beginning. I wish you well on your path.
bob
8 years ago
pills to detox off pills–do you hear what you are saying? then what do I take to detox off your solution? just quit–it’s called entire abstinence–it works
Darilyn
9 years ago
AWE Angel, I So Understand and feel your pain. I am also an addictive person for various reasons but have broken many and am now dealing with the last which is really none the less serious than all the others. If I can be of any help for you to vent more, make better decisions, inspire you WHATEVER I would like to be there for you as we all can do whatever we decide to do…..your death sentence is Not the Only way for sure 🙂
Carlos
9 years ago
Wow Angel I can relate to your life. If I were to sum it up myself that is exactly what I would write with the only differenceliving with my three kids 19,14 and 9 and my wife of 14yrs. I’ve served in the Army for 6 years, when I came back home I became an alcoholic and addicted to pain pills for my injuries and every other medication for PTSD. I’ve been to detox and I have completely stop drinking but the pain to my injuries (back, hip, shoulder and chronic migraines) are unbearable and I started using narcotics again. I recently had surgery and finally got some extra freebies. I get prescribed 120 percs a month and they’re gone in less than 5 days, maybe less. I told my doctor after surgery to either give me methadone or put me on the fentanyl patch. I did great on the patch because I didn’t feel any pain but I missed the high, relaxed but energized feeling that you get. Feeling like you can do anything. But until my appointment I have to make sure I have enough pills to do just about anything or just to do nothing at all. I pray to God that we can both overcome. I believe we can both do it Angel. There is always a way, we just have to be willing.
Tiffany
9 years ago
Angel I totally understand how u feel I’mright there with u if uwant to message me look me up on fb Tiffany Michelle I’min cCincinnati ohio
Jeremy G
8 years ago
Keep an open mind…Unless that means straying from a strict abstinence-only 12-step program.
I’ll take evidence-based treatment like MAT with methadone or suboxone, and professional counseling and therapy, or support groups that use evidence-based tools (like SMART, LifeRing, SOS…) any day.
If it works for you, great, but I’ve seen plenty of friends die from overdoses after being coerced into abstinence-only (e.g., no MAT) programs and because of poor coping and lapse/relapse management skills they picked up there.
Also, you can’t label addiction a brain disease and then blame people with substance use disorders for their actions when they fail to recover to your expectations (just as you can’t blame a person living with schizophrenia for delusions).
There are clearly behavioral aspects to addiction, which is why a set of 12 steps for changing those behaviors exist in the first place.
Recovery is different for everyone. Folks don’t need to follow your narrow rules, or anyone else’s, to affirm their recovery, and they definitely don’t require a lifetime of 12-step meetings to maintain their sobriety.
bob
8 years ago
just promote your ideas–don’t knock an 80 years old method that has worked for millions–you might try your own advice that “recovery is different for everyone”. You don’t have to rant about another method to give yours credence–unless your’s is suspect.
emily
8 years ago
wow bob. he’s not knocking it, he’s saying it’s not the only way.
Lisa Spindal
8 years ago
Well put, Jeremy. Thank you
Bruno Giordano
8 years ago
I love the uplifting title of the story! Thanks for all the encouragement! I only seek recovery advice from “spiritual gangsters” so naturally when you listed the 5 reasons I couldn’t get sober my ears perked right up! Now, I now why I can’t get sober and why you can! Thanks for informing me of why I am not as good as you are, I was clueless!!!
Lisa Becker
8 years ago
All you need is number 5- to want to get sober- and not any of the other silly, emotionally abusive and degrading 12-step dogma that has prevented drug abusers from finding true emotional health and long-term success. Does this mean that seeking out other means of support isn’t a good idea and sometimes support isn’t useful and sometimes necessary if someone has a trauma history or some co-occurring mental health issues? Absolutely not. But keep in mind that the people in Alcoholics Anonymous are basically a bunch of individuals are just a people that come in off the street and you will be far better served by seeking out a professional in those cases. Otherwise, there are far more empowering ways to meet people through traditional social channels that will not isolate you from society. All you need is YOU to get sober.
Silver Damsen
8 years ago
Is this even serious? I can see why someone wouldn’t want to get sober because of the psychological abuse of blaming the victim that is so much a part of AA and other 12-Step ideology.
But the whole “alcoholic” is a sick crazy person that doesn’t want to get well because they are a sick crazy person, it not really very useful or helpful–again because it blames the victim.
So why not try one of the other 9 methods, such as HAMS or SMART, that don’t require you to believe all kinds of weird nonsense about “powerlessness” and how you want to suffer and need to hit bottom, and just freaking help you manage?
Mike
8 years ago
Although these 5 things can be helpful, the premise you can’t get sober if you don’t do them is not accurate. Unless someone makes it their life’s work, they are not an expert in recovery. The one thing I have learned is that I am the expert of MY recovery, not recovery in general or someone else’s recovery. The research is providing us new treatments and answers as each year passes. I think as recovering people we need to make sure we are responsible and not talk in absolutes about recovery. When we do this we make recovery less attractive.
neal
8 years ago
This pompous ass is the exact reason AA can kiss my ass. What a narrow minded jerk. Now go get some coffee and a cigarette and hang with other know it all’s, and quit writing stuff like this before you get someone killed
Laura
7 years ago
You have to want change more than you want your drugs, addiction, whatever is keeping you from the life you were meant to live. Truth. I am tired. After years of therapy, baby steps, reading, choosing good influences to be around, I am left to admit that I don’t think I truly want to change. My marriage is all but over. I had every good thing and traded it away.
David Scott
7 years ago
kill the people who make and serve alcohol ?
RegD432
7 years ago
After 8 years of severe alcohol and cocaine abuse, and almost dying on two separate occasions, I just woke up one morning two and a half years ago and realized I was done with it. I didn’t go to therapy, I didn’t take medications to help withdraw, I didn’t do any of that. I just awoke after a long bender and realized the cost I was paying physically and emotionally was not worth the highs I was getting.
The first week of quitting was the worst. I likely needed medical supervision and realize now I could have died from the DTs and other symptoms I was having. After a week of suffering, it started to get better. Slowly, each day become easier than the last day. Suddenly I was three months sober and realized I could stay that way if I wanted.
It’s been two and a half years now, and the only thing I’ve had to drink is a glass of champagne on New Years, and I’ve done zero cocaine. I don’t obsesses over being sober, and it doesn’t totally run my life. I know I can have a drink if I want to, but the truth be told, I don’t really want to. I’ll never allow myself to fall back into the rabbit hole I was in. Since going sober, I’ve gotten so much back in my professional and private life. All the bridges I burned, I’ve mostly mended.
As hard as it was at first. As much as I was physically put down. As sick as I was and as bad as I felt. I just decided the short term of that was much better than the long term consequences of the road I was on. It was also much cheaper. For me, it was as simple as deciding my life and family was much more important than whiskey and coke. Might have taken me lots of rock bottoms and two close death experiences, but I did get there. And somehow, through it all, I don’t have any long term medical consequences. Didn’t blow out my liver or my heart. I got lucky and quit in time.
Michael Griego
7 years ago
Well this was uplifting. I was like check, check, check. I think i’ll just stay fucked up. I’ll probably die in this.
Michael Griego
7 years ago
#5 was brutal. Pretty Honest. I Just Don’t Want It.
Aidan Edwards
6 years ago
Love this
Ernest Kohls
6 years ago
Great article. You write a lot like I do on my site. I wish I wrote this raw, but lately I simply share experiences that I incorporate into each post. If it is OK with you, I’d like to link a few of the articles here on my site: sobrietyauthority.com.
Tyler Durden
5 years ago
The bite of a sober day is scarier than a hurricane.
Randy Kahn
4 years ago
Every addict experiences the devastating heartbreaking moment when your drug of choice stops working. It might make you feel “different” but not better. And worst of all, the mind won’t shut down.
That’s usually when you try something new, something stronger. You’ve burned out on one thing, gotta switch to something else for at least SOME relief. But relief from what? From that “feeling”….and your shit life. Once you digest the fact that your an addict/ alcoholic, it’s never gonna change. It will NEVER go away, you can never go BACK. This is the first step really, admitting to your innermost self that truth.
Then, you quit. Period. Stop. One second at a time. Like turning off a light. No magic wands, no holyman with the golden tablet, you F’ing quit. Now, how do you stay quit. And change.
I suggest AA.
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