Mar 12, 2014 | By Tim Stoddart
Where is the Help? – Woman Nodding out on Bus Sparks Investigation
Addiction & Recovery NewsBy now you must have seen the video. We were reluctant to say anything about this video, because Sober Nation does not consider ourselves a gossip site. We do keep up with news and current events if it is recovery related. However, we have kept an eye on this story, and we decided it was time for us as leaders in the field, to leave our mark.
Let us start with understanding the circumstances. I don’t know how many people reading this have been to Philadelphia. If you have, you may be familiar with the neighborhood that the 66 bus runs through. The bus runs down Frankford Avenue in Northeast Philadelphia. This part of Philadelphia may be the most heroin plagued location in the country. I’m not expert on drug neighborhoods, but here is an article to give you a better idea about the heroin problem in Philadelphia.
For all those who consider addiction a matter of choice and will power, well… I invite them spend a month in Kensington and see what they say about it afterwards. It is awful.
Four days ago when this video went viral, the comments on the YouTube video were disturbing. They blast this poor woman. This woman obviously is at fault. There’s no doubt that child services needs to step in and do something, but that is besides the point. The reaction we have seen is nothing but condemnation for this woman. People ruthlessly call her a junkie and a bad mother and the list goes on.
It’s funny how everyone is so quick to judge, and so reluctant to help.
Here is something to know about me. I used to take the R5 bus home from North Philadelphia every day. At my feeble atempt at college, I went to Temple University, where I spent most my time getting wasted and blowing Oxy’s. I can’t tell you how many times I nodded out on that train, and woke up 4 or 5 train stops past my stop. This doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. This woman is not a bad person, she is a heroin addict. Not once did I see a comment about helping this woman. Not one, it was all people sitting comfortably behind their keyboards, congratulating themselves for being so perfect. It makes me sad.
The entire bus full of people just sat there. One guy even video taped it, and proudly made his mark on society. It is a fact, that people are way more inclined to help an animal, then a person. Look, I am all about saving helpless animals, but why do we feel so apprehensive to help other people?
Does anyone reading this have addiction in their family? Has anyone seen a friend or a loved one at their lowest point? What is your lowest point? It probably wasn’t far off from what this woman went through.
What this tells me most is the misunderstanding people have about addiction. People are so afraid of addiction, and are even more afraid to get involved. People are afraid to admit they are addicts, and afraid to come out and be active in the recovery community. There is always debate about addiction and about what to do about it. As of right now, the solution seems to throw addicts in jail. We criminalize addiction more than any other offense. Does this woman look like a criminal? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but to me this woman looks like someone who is sick.
Sober Nation is here to help, and take a stand for people who otherwise can’t speak for themselves. This woman got her daughter taken away. That is probably best, but it is unfortunate that this will probably be looked at as a criminal offense. That is stupid. This woman doesn’t need to be criminalized. She needs treatment. My hope is that she gets sober, and can use this experience as a means to help others.
If you need help with addiction, don’t be ashamed. I needed help. Everyone I know who is sober, needed help. We all bottomed out. We all did things we aren’t proud of. However, now we hold our heads high, and we have an advantage because the battle of addiction has hardened our armor. We are stronger because we have come out the other side. So I say again, if you need help… reach out! Call us. Call someone! Don’t wait until it is too late. Don’t wait until you do something stupid and some schmuck video tapes you instead of helps you. We will not judge you. We will get involved and help you! We will love you.
All you need is love.
Travis
10 years ago
This is my first time seeing this and I completely agree and couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m a recovering alcoholic and have been sober for over 3 years. I pray that she revives treatment and moves on from this. I was so afraid to tell my friends of my alcoholism when I quit, people don’t know how to react and some even try to ignore it. Discussing it publicly was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but thankful everyday that I did. I appreciate your site and the efforts of everyone that helps out with it. Everyday I smile when you post successful stories of recovering addicts and how they’re changing for the better. You have my support 100% and thanks for stepping up and letting people know more about the real problem.
bill
10 years ago
Great article. I’m a lifelong Philly resident, clean for 22 months. Thankyou for writing this. So sad to see this video and know that someone recorded this for 4 minutes and did nothing at all to help the situation.
LISA THOMAS-STODDART
10 years ago
I am SOOO proud of the man that wrote this…TIM u rock!! Thank u for sharing your experiences as you know I went through them my WHOLE life….I NEVER stopped to think :”what they felt” or “why do they do this to the family”? you have put a FANTASTIC perspective on this situation. Prayers for the little girl that her mother DOES get help and get her child back….TOO MANY children have been affected by this disease. I prayed for her and I know THOUSANDS of people are praying for her also. WAY TO GO TIM STODDART for bringing this to our attention! LOVE YOU xoxo
Harry
10 years ago
Thank you so much for posting!! I am a lifelong NYer and clean and sober 7 years! I pray thi young woman gets help very soon but I know she will not get clean till she WANTS to! Prayers that she does!!!
Craig
10 years ago
Thank you for speaking truth.
Jessica
10 years ago
This is bullshit! She is a bad mom. And when I was using I was a bad mom too. Im sure there is many programs available for this woman. Matter of fact ill google all the programs sponsored by the tax payers. The fact is she don’t want help she rather get high. And thats the problem nobody is ever responsible for their actions. Ppl always yelling out help. Hey why dont you help her nobody’s stopping you. I’ve been there done that and by that I mean getting high. But I made the decision to get my ass in gear and get clean. So all this wah wah boo boo for this BAD MOM cause lets call it what it is absolutely ridiculous. Lets as a nation take responsibility for our own actions and quite dumbing down whats really going on. I’m absolutely appalled by your article basically telling me I’m responsible to help this woman even more than I already do each week when there are taxes stolen out of my check for programs that are available for her. Shame on you for making this chick out to be the victim instead of her poor little girl that probably just watched her score then shoot the crap up. Ughh makes me sick. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Jessica
10 years ago
And where are the rest of the comments
Lori
10 years ago
This is my first time seeing this video. Tim thank you for your post . Foremost as a parent I’m shocked no one came to the child’s rescue . As a recovering addict one would think there was someone on that bus that related in some fashion and as a Christian I’m shocked as to how no one stepped up on any level. I hope this individual finds the strength and courage to beat the addiction and her daughter gets to live life like a kid .
Chrys
10 years ago
This is why I have changed my major to social work with specialized attention on being an addiction specialist. .. my goal is to help as many people as I can about addiction.. I have been clean since 9/12/09 and this is now my passion.. I have walked the walk with my kids being taken from me. It took me 4 years to get back, but I never gave up and the judge could say nothing but good job you have done it, case closed the children are to be sent home.. the best day besides holding them the first time in life.. I love that my soberty has pushed me to a life of wanting and insisting on making addiction known and help.. please know you can do this and there is a sober life available. .
Terri
10 years ago
Just sickening people standby and not
Get that woman and the child assistance for heavens sakes
The animal kingdom has more compassion
Terri
10 years ago
Just sickening people standby and not
Get that woman and the child assistance for heavens sakes
The animal kingdom has more compassion
Aubrey
10 years ago
Thank you.
John
10 years ago
Well the comments from Jessica above are indicative of the ignorance of proper English grammar and of drug and alcohol addiction. “She don’t want help”. Well Jessica she probably does want help and certainly needs it. Unfortunately she might not get it. They will take her children away if there is not a suitable relative to step in and take over. This is probably necessary. Another big part of the problem is lack of understanding by the insurance companies and treatment facilities themselves. Addiction programs should be a minimum of 90 days. Not 3 weeks. You do not get over the absolute fixation on drugs and alcohol in 3 weeks. It takes time and money. Tax dollars well spent.
Lacey
10 years ago
As the spouse of an addict and the mother of his children, my heart broke each time that child raised her mother’s head for her. The misery that the children of addicts go through is so often forgotten. Like I told my husband as he began treatment nearly four years ago, admitting that you need help doesn’t show people that you are weak, allowing addiction to continue to rule your life does. It takes tremendous courage and strength to take back control. He put off getting help for so long because he didn’t want to admit that he didn’t have control. Rehab = control.
samantha
10 years ago
So sad. I’ve been at the bottom… my kids were taken into state custody… I don’t wish that on anyone, but that is what got me clean. There is always hope, even if it seems hopeless. Non addicts don’t understand addiction a lot of times… lack of empathy in the world today.
Michelle VanDusen
10 years ago
My question is how do people know she has a drug problem? What if it is a medical problem? I can’t believe no one bothered to find out and help them.
Jessie Anne
10 years ago
… WOW! I HONESTLY CANNOT BELIEVE THE TRUE IGNORANCE OF SOME PEOPLE! THEY SAY THEY’VE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT, THEN WHY BE SO INSENSITIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO NEEDS HELP? YOU NEEDED THE HELP, RIGHT? IGNORANCE WILL GET YOU NOWHERE BUT LOOKED AT AS A VERY NASTY PERSON. JUS’ SAYIN. AND I AM ALSO IN RECOVERY FROM A HEROIN ADDICTION AND I’M PRESENTLY ON METHADONE. THANK GOD FOR THAT! BUT I HOPE THE GIRL IN THE VIDEO CAN GET THE HELP SHE NEEDS AND PROBABLY WANTS SO SHE AND HER BABYGIRL CAN BE TOGETHER AGAIN. I’M GONNA TRY TO FIND OUT WHO SHE IS AND POSSIBLY REACH OUT TO HER. AND AS FOR THE PEOPLE STILL CAUGHT UP, PLEASE GET HELP! I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE “ANOTHER DAY” CLEAN & SOBER. RECOVERY IS AWESOME!
shay
10 years ago
As a person who comes from a family that has past and present addiction problems, I can say that am very relieved to know this woman no longer has a child in her care. I grew up taking care of but younger brothers and sisters all while watching my parents battle a Meth addiction. Addiction, no matter what the addiction is to, is truly a horrible disease. However, I have a very hard time feeling any empathy towards this woman after reading what she had posted on her Facebook after they took her child away. I am amazed that this woman can even begin to blame other people for something she herself caused. You would think after seeing this video of herself she would at least say yes she is sad that it came to her daughter being taken away but now she actually realizes that she needs help and can focus on getting clean so she can have her child back. I would have a lot more respect and sympathy for her. Not even a year ago one of my sisters close friends was found dead in her bathroom overdosed on heroin with a needle in her arm, while her 3 year old daughter was left unattended for who knows how long before she was found. It makes me sad that this drug epidemic has taken so many lives and will continue to kill people everyday.I’m just thankful to know this little girl is safe and will no longer have to “mother” her own mother anymore.
Rachel
10 years ago
VERY WELL SAID (from John)…Well the comments from Jessica above are indicative of the ignorance of proper English grammar and of drug and alcohol addiction. “She don’t want help”. Well Jessica she probably does want help and certainly needs it. Unfortunately she might not get it. They will take her children away if there is not a suitable relative to step in and take over. This is probably necessary. Another big part of the problem is lack of understanding by the insurance companies and treatment facilities themselves. Addiction programs should be a minimum of 90 days. Not 3 weeks. You do not get over the absolute fixation on drugs and alcohol in 3 weeks. It takes time and money. Tax dollars well spent.
Dorothy Pasieka
10 years ago
This is so common, especially in Phila. People are afraid of addiction,They do criminalize addiction when actually it is a disease. Someone should of tried to help her, especially for the childs sake.The drug problem is so out of control! So many people need proper help and support ! Insurance companies don’t pay for long term help ,the problem is being ignored and so many young people are dying. Her child was taken from her ,It could be bad for the whole situation, A child needs its mother no matter what, Get help for the mother first, give the mother a chance, She will probably use more and more now that her daughter is gone. It could take years for her to be reunited with her daughter, and God knows how she’ll be . Drug addicts and alcoholics are people. Usually very caring and sensitive people with an underlying problem. People are so ignorant to this I pray God helps us all! Peace!
Chuck
10 years ago
I am born and raised in Fishtown/Kensington and lived there for 53 years. I will say that this statement, “For all those who consider addiction a matter of choice and will power, well… I invite them spend a month in Kensington and see what they say about it afterwards” is BS and I am a Peer Specialist that works with addiction! Stop making excuses for people, and by doing so you are telling everyone that personal responsibility has no meaning! That is counter productive!!!
ryanh206
9 years ago
Uh, this is common place in Seattle.
Recent Articles
Warning Signs of a Drug Relapse: Spot Them Early
How to Quit Cocaine: Overcoming Addiction & Withdrawal Symptoms
Non 12 Step Fellowships for Flexible Recovery
What are 12-Step Programs? Explore Their Principles and Impact?
What is Relapse? Understanding Recovery’s Twists and Turns?
Question About Treatment
Get Confidential help 24/7
(866) 207-7436Who Answers
Contact Sober Nation's Sponsored Hotline
If you are seeking drug and alcohol related addiction rehab for yourself or a loved one, the SoberNation.com hotline is a confidential and convenient solution.
Calls to any general hotline (non-facility) will be answered by Treatment Addiction Solutions
Alternatives to finding addiction treatment or learning about substance:
If you wish to contact a specific rehab facility then find a specific rehab facility using our treatment locator page or visit SAMHSA.gov.
To learn more about how Sober Nation operates, please contact us