Jan 23, 2013 | By Tim Stoddart
What is Addict Mentality?
Recovery
In recovery, certain terms and affiliations can get thrown around quite loosely. You will hear people say phrases like, ” I have an addictive personality,” or, “it’t addict mentality.” But, what do these phrases actually mean?
Let me go on a limb and clarify that I am not a doctor. I do not have a psychology degree nor do I want one. This article is written purely through the knowledge and conclusions I have developed through my own experience. Here goes…
What is an Addict Mentality?
For me it is simple. An addict has a mentality of extremes. Addicts generally (although this could be an unfair generalization) have unusual abilities to get what it is that they want. This desire can come in many forms. Addicts control relationships, they are manipulative, and also very obsessive. Once an addict decides that he or she needs something, they will take very drastic measures to achieve their goal.
Moral of the story is, watch out! Many times family members and friends of addicts are amazed and even baffled at the lengths addicts are willing to go to get what it is that they want.
What Does This Mean Psychologically?
For years the debate has risen whether addiction is a disease or a disorder or a lack of will power. It is true that addiction has many characteristics of a disease, however the disease is unique in the respect that it is effecting the mind and behaviors of a person. Does that in term make addiction a behavior issue? In some respects it does. Regardless of what your belief system is, one thing is not debatable. Addicts have a chemical imbalance of the mind.
This can often be see through increased or decreased serotonin or dopamine levels. Addicts often have very high creative thinking and deductive reasoning skills. Many times there are other psychological disorders that accompany the addictive tendencies of a person such as depression, ADHD, mood disorder, etc. All of these play a role in the way an addict thinks and acts.
Too often, a family member of friend will ask an addict why it is that he or she did what he did, and too often, the addict will simply reply with an “I don’t know.” Usually, this is one of the few times the addict is telling the truth. For whatever reason, the chemical imbalances and behavioral modifications we suffer from, control our actions.
How Can We Cope With An Addict Mentality?
Again, I am no doctor. My experience however tells me that there are lots of ways to cope with an addict mentality. Too often we forget that a mentality is just that. They are just thoughts. Although they do have some power and measure, what is most important is our actions. There are lots of ways to find recovery. Many chose to work the 12 steps, others use the SMART system. Some find a rehab and begin sobriety that way. Others use Behavior Modification Therapy. All of these approaches essentially have the same idea behind them. We use these therapies to change our behavior. We use these therapies to change how we react to our thoughts.
What is really important is not what you think, what is important is what you do.
Name linda t
11 years ago
good job. simple and to the point.
Laura
10 years ago
The thought about willpower now belongs only to those who have not been educated about addiction and is a moot point.
Addict/alcoholics are indeed in the grip of a disease just like those with diabetes. Our bodies are different and react to chemicals differently. Personally, knowing that it is a mental/emotional and physical disease helps me to understand and accept it.
Laura
10 years ago
The thought about willpower now belongs only to those who have not been educated about addiction and is a moot point.
Addict/alcoholics are indeed in the grip of a disease just like those with diabetes. Our bodies are different and react to chemicals differently. Personally, knowing that it is a mental/emotional and physical disease helps me to understand and accept it.
Sara
10 years ago
I totally agree I have been in recovery for over a year and I work the twelve steps but I have felt, thought and been there. Thank you for giving your open and honest opinion.
Lauren Nicole Rich
10 years ago
weather —> whether 🙂
Farley
10 years ago
That is what AA is all about – learning to live live on life’s terms and doing the next right thing.
We accept that we are different and work to get out of the old habits that contributed to our addiction.
Farley
10 years ago
That is what AA is all about – learning to live live on life’s terms and doing the next right thing.
We accept that we are different and work to get out of the old habits that contributed to our addiction.
Terra
10 years ago
I really wish everyone could read this and understand. It is already hard enough to be an addict and trying to explain it to others. I hate that people think it’s an issue of one’s morals..trust me I didn’t choose to be this way. Thank you for the article, very well put:)
David May
10 years ago
PSYCHIC CHANGE…..Anyone ever heard of it?
Self awareness lets us watch our own narcasisstic sickness.
We learn the artform of “letting go and letting God”.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
God now gives me 3x more now than I ever got when I always “got my selfish way”.
And one beauty of this manipulative personality is now quite often We can now use it to get something for someone else other than our selfish, self seeking ways.
We have to do Step 6 and 7 on an awareness basis of constantly, to reform our selfish personalities. Change…Change….Change…Spiritual awakening and psychic change. We are all sick, SOME OF US STAY SICKER THAN OTHERS!
David May
10 years ago
PSYCHIC CHANGE…..Anyone ever heard of it?
Self awareness lets us watch our own narcasisstic sickness.
We learn the artform of “letting go and letting God”.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
God now gives me 3x more now than I ever got when I always “got my selfish way”.
And one beauty of this manipulative personality is now quite often We can now use it to get something for someone else other than our selfish, self seeking ways.
We have to do Step 6 and 7 on an awareness basis of constantly, to reform our selfish personalities. Change…Change….Change…Spiritual awakening and psychic change. We are all sick, SOME OF US STAY SICKER THAN OTHERS!
Debbie
10 years ago
Excellent points and so true. In recovery for 15 months and have felt so many things! Was actually riddled with anxiety at socializing without having had a drink and having a drink in hand. Had to become who I really am. Was something hard that I certainly did not predict. Lots of things. Mind sort of bouncing around. But have my Higher Power now, dump it there, go to AA and I feel GREAT. Certainly a journey. Totally love how you put it in your words.
cher ohalloran
10 years ago
addicts live in extreme-ville most of the time … there is a solution regardless of serotonin levels, etc … we (science) know too little about the brain (it’s all speculation)… as far as we do know most of the populance only use about 10 percent (if that) as it is … chemical disorder? perhaps … I am an addict … don’t ever tell me I have no will power! My addictions always get what they want if I don’t put an immediate stop to the insanity! 12 steps are helpful.They help me slow down, stop and think first things first. But so are many other methods. Repetition works … creating better habits of thoughts. Having goals. Desire helps. Desire to be more, be better.. Pain is a great motivator … it says: you are not happy here. Wake up and try something different! Change routine. Fall in love with yourself! Turn off the TV and stay away from negativity. Go into nature. If you can’t find anyone positive to be around … then be alone until someone positive is attracted to you! Your life is just like a mirror … It reflects back to you everything you are being. Be great and you will get great!!
mehaul
8 years ago
???? inspiring.. thnx that sounds so on point to me
jimmydabull
10 years ago
Great Article! In my estimation, the term “disease” is an excuse. Although we don’t often feel like it, addiction is a choice. Yes we have tendencies in our personalities to gravitate toward that that makes us most comfortable or feels the best, HOWEVER, addiction is a CHOICE. Like this article says…thoughts that we can choose to ignore. I have fought my addiction for over 10 years and have been clean every day of it. How? I CHOOSE to be sober. I CHOOSE not to have the same friends that were enablers. I CHOOSE to love my family and do what is right for them. Make the CHOICE not to use!
scott hoover
10 years ago
Great simple article. The addict/me root defect of character
Is selfish and self centered.
scott hoover
10 years ago
Great simple article. The addict/me root defect of character
Is selfish and self centered.
Greg
10 years ago
Addiction to anything alcohol,drugs, is very progressive . I am sober if I pick up a beer my disease will have multiplied and I will just drink more than before.
Cherie
10 years ago
Great article. It was only after I understood what was happening to me that I even had a chance to overcome it. And for me it did take a complete surrender of willpower to God. When I was able to do that, I no longer needed or wanted to drink.
Don't Lie
10 years ago
Once you understand that Bill Wilson was wet brained by drinking bath tub gin when he wrote the Big book, that he was a predator of the top order who continued to cheat on his wife up to the day he died, was doing LSD and any other mood altering drug he could get his hands on, and that he spent the rest of his days enriching himself off 164 pages of BS, personal judgment, and other people’s ideas, then you will realize that the one size fits all approach of AA is really just a personality cult with a success rate of less than 3%. Besides this writers inability to write (good thing you left your name off of it), this article is nothing but regurgitated psycho-babble and you really should just worry about your own behavior rather than push a message that is false on so many different levels I can’t even begin to fit it in here. BTW, Smart and AA could not be more different from each other in their “belief system” as you call it.
Lorena Howery
10 years ago
Thank you for your article. Addiction, in my opinion, is a disease. I just talked with my Dr. this week regarding my son’s addiction to H. He has been in jail for 16 months, got out, stayed clean for a couple of months and over dosed on H three weeks ago. He died twice, but lived. He is now back in jail and going to a minimum security prison for intense rehab. My Dr. explained to me that he could be with is daughter or girlfriend and once that thought comes to mind there usually no stopping it. Only 9% of H addicts recover.
As someone else stated, do you think this is the life he choose for himself? To be looked down on, lie, steel, cheat. Do you think when he was growing up he said to himself, “I think I’ll be an addict when I grow up”!
I’m not a stupid mom with my head buried in the sand. I know all the lies and tricks! I have had him arrested three times and put in jail. It’s the kind of hell I would not wish on any parent, sibling or child.
Lorena Howery
10 years ago
Thank you for your article. Addiction, in my opinion, is a disease. I just talked with my Dr. this week regarding my son’s addiction to H. He has been in jail for 16 months, got out, stayed clean for a couple of months and over dosed on H three weeks ago. He died twice, but lived. He is now back in jail and going to a minimum security prison for intense rehab. My Dr. explained to me that he could be with is daughter or girlfriend and once that thought comes to mind there usually no stopping it. Only 9% of H addicts recover.
As someone else stated, do you think this is the life he choose for himself? To be looked down on, lie, steel, cheat. Do you think when he was growing up he said to himself, “I think I’ll be an addict when I grow up”!
I’m not a stupid mom with my head buried in the sand. I know all the lies and tricks! I have had him arrested three times and put in jail. It’s the kind of hell I would not wish on any parent, sibling or child.
think before you drink
10 years ago
Looked it up in the dictionary, saw my picture.
Don Forrest
10 years ago
I am pleased I took the time to read this, I am broken beyond belief as I struggle to understand my wifes addiction and the things that go with it. Most of what I have read could be a description of her, and the impossible task of breaking it down, this artical has been of great help to me but I wish there were a little more information on how to deal with the person ie help, when I said broken I mean really brokent to the point I fear for my own life now, such is the hell on earth I have been living these past months but any help is better than none again thankyou for your information/help. Don
Chuck
10 years ago
I’ve attempted sobriety twice. Once because I had to and the other was because I needed to. As I read the article all I could think was “this was written for me and and about me” . I’ve contemplated sobriety for the last year and the main reason I haven’t is the fear to fail again. I am scared to face life without a drink.
Andrew Poulsen
10 years ago
I notice “don’t lie” doesn’t have the balls to use real name. It seems to me this person’s been reading to much Orange Papers, Doesn’t have the ability to use his/her own mind, If this person’s so certain about the falsity of AA, why even bother perusing thid web site? Most intelligent, well-read AAs know about Bill’s faults and problems.
Tony Escobar
10 years ago
I am completely on point with “don’t lie”. I can’t agree more that the cult of AA is just a pyramid scheme. The truth is people in that program are intensely defiant of other views. For me SMART Recovery makes more sense. There’s no need to be diseased. The fact is it’s just a matter of behavior modification. My life isn’t unmanageble or am I powerless. In fact I always have the choice to pick up or not. It’s ridiculous to fathom otherwise.
Mirelle Tuttle
10 years ago
I’m having a hard time coping with my son who is in recovery. this has helped me quite a bit in understanding him. although I would like to know how to deal with him
Tim Stoddart
10 years ago
Email tim@sobernation.com. I would be happy to talk to you about some things to understand. Thank you. 🙂
think u know
10 years ago
As of 2013 scientific studies has proven addiction and alcoholism ARE considered a disease of the brain. Anyonewho feels as though its a choice. Do your research before you belittle any alcoholic/addict. Everyone has an opinion and that is repected but scientific studies are more credible than an opinion.
Alfred Suparmin Aromin
9 years ago
The faster the method the faster I get some more. The longer I wait to get it the farther time you see me. The better the trip the weirder I grow up. The faster I go to rehab the faster I get out. The longer I get my trip the faster you all fall. The great high ain’t nothing you should tread on no matter whose name you refer to,may it be our pet dog or our freaking parents. You tread on yourselves fucking with a chronic marijuana user. May all hell break loose once they find out about this news.
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