Dec 9, 2014 | By Tim Stoddart

5 Lessons that I Learned in Rehab

Personal Addiction Recovery Stories

“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.”

– Seneca

Rehab sucked. It really did. I wouldn’t call it an enjoyable experience, but I am extremely grateful for it. Who knows where I would be if not for treatment. In treatment I had a few “ahh ha” moments where the truth was all of the sudden so clear that I could not deny it any more.

We had a lot of positive response with a previous article entitled “Lessons I Have Learned in Recovery” so we wanted to follow up with an article about rehab. If the day comes that you find yourself in a rehab facility, hopefully these words can help you along the way.

Here goes…

Lesson 1 – I Had No Clue What I Was Doing

Out of all the negative personality traits I continuously have to work on, arrogance tops the list. It’s a flaw.

In my using days I had all the answers. No one could tell me anything I didn’t already know and if someone offered me advice my reaction was to get defensive, as if someone were trying to boss me around. I don’t know what my problem was.

On my first day of treatment, in the first hour, I read a sign that was hung on the wall. I’m sure this sign is on many walls in many treatments. It said…

“If your way was so good, why are you sitting here?”

There was no way around it. Everything I thought I knew lead me right into treatment, sitting on a shitty couch reading that stupid sign. The truth was finally revealed to me.

I didn’t know how to live my life. I needed to humble myself, and come to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, there are people out there that know some things that I don’t.

Lesson 2 – It’s Better To Be Happy

We were having group. One of the residents was preaching about Jesus. My personal opinions about other peoples beliefs are irrelevant, but at the time, I was very resentful and even hostile towards anyone who wanted to use the bible as a foundation for morality.

I was still running with that whole arrogance thing, and so I would argue about pretty much anything.

I found myself countering everything this guy said. Every point he made, I had a quick and effective rebuttal. I remember thinking “man I am really schooling this guy.” In that moment it felt good to show all these people just how much I knew. I wanted to be the smartest guy in rehab – I was really shooting for the stars.

Very nonchalantly, during my verbal assassination, our counselor slowly walked over to a chalkboard and wrote a few words…

“I’d rather be happy than right.”

He calmly sat back down. I just stopped arguing right then and there.

All this time I had spent so much of my energy telling people what I thought they needed to do. I was angry about so much. I was angry about the awful things that happened to me, I was angry at so many people because I felt betrayed. I was angry at other people for being happy. I was just… pissed.

Why? What good was that anger doing for me? It wasn’t getting me anywhere. It was time for me to let go of my anger. I had to deal with it and learn how to get past it. After that, I stopped arguing with people so much.

Lesson 3 – Drugs Aren’t The Problem – But They Are Still The Problem

I see the truth in the saying that “drugs weren’t the problem, I was the problem.” I get it. I identify with having to fix ourselves from the inside, and get to the underlying issues of why it is we actually drink or use. Totally agree..

However, it is difficult to do any soul searching with a bottle of Scotch and an 8 ball on the table. Before I could tackle any issues, I had to stop getting high.

It sounds very cushy to say things about fixing yourself from the inside, and dealing with trauma and all that… but if you are an addict like I am an addict, you must first stop getting high. It’s the most important thing.

This lesson has followed me throughout my recovery. No matter what happens, no matter what I am going through, the most important thing is that I don’t pick up. As long as I don’t pick up, I have a chance. As long as I don’t drink, I have the opportunity to work on everything else. But if I do drink… who knows?

Lesson 4 – It’s About How I Am Living My Life

The same counselor that blew my mind with the chalkboard sat me down about two weeks into my stint.

I was ranting to him about how hard I was trying in life and how I was not getting anywhere. I had a carpentry business and I was working my ass off. I had decent money coming in but I was unable to get ahead. I couldn’t see the connection between my lifestyle and my struggles.

He asked me these 4 simple words…

“How You Living Kid?”

I was not living well. I wasn’t eating enough, I barely drank water and hadn’t been exercising. I didn’t treat people well. I had pretty much isolated myself from my entire family. I hadn’t been living a positive or healthy lifestyle by any means.

Sobriety and happiness is more than feeling good all the time. It is also about living well. I started treating people better, I started to help others – even if that meant giving someone a cigarette or getting something from the other room for someone.

As time passed, I started to realize that the more I did for myself and for other people, the better off I was. It snowballs into a life worth living.

Lesson 5 – Playtime Was Over

When I went to treatment I was living in Northeast Philly off of Cottman Ave. I had a small apartment with a girlfriend. If I wasn’t such a mess, it would have been a great home. On the surface it probably seemed like I had everything.

We were in group and I was talking about how awful I felt that I had ruined these things. In the conversation someone asked where I lived. At that time it dawned on me that I lived in a rehab.

It was a wake up call for me. My current living residence was in a treatment center in Newtown PA. Playtime was over, and it was time for me to get my shit together.

I had so much going for me but I was unwilling to let people help me and to admit that I was full of fear. The gig was up for me, and I knew it was time to get to work.

Wrapping It All Up

This is just a glimpse of what was going through my head during treatment. The truth is I don’t remember a lot of it. Those last two years and even my first couple months of recovery were all a bit of a blur.

If there is one piece of advice to give, it is that you must be willing to change. Treatment is an important first step for many people, but if you are not willing to really look at yourself, it will be a tough road. If there is any way the Sober Nation crew can help you, please do not hesitate to call.

If you would like to share some of the lessons you have learned, please leave them in the comments section. 🙂