All I can say for what it was like: When my eyes opened each day, all I could do was cry. And not just little tears. Sobbing heaving tears of complete and utter sadness, loneliness and despair. The thought of another day walking the streets trying to figure out how I was going to get my next drink and my next drug was too much for me too even handle anymore. Six years had lapsed since I could remember even having something of a life.
The fact that I chose to do something stupid (yet again) and find myself incarcerated
yet again) would finally prove another God send, in HIS grace to give me one more possible chance at what I now have as a real life.
I am going on 6 years sober and IN recovery, this time. It is different for me than times past. I now understand what it means to take action and responsibility for myself. I finally understood what it means to have a sponsor and work with her and work a 12 step program. I finally found the connection I have been longing for to my spirituality and to my higher power.
What my life is like now: Amazing! Happy and very productive.Not everything has been returned to me or has been completely mended. Some bridges may be permanently broken,but I choose NOT to look at that. I have more than I could ever ask for,and this is progress, not perfection, right? My sponsor likes to tell me I have those “gold-plated” problems now. I like those kind of problems. And I can actually laugh today.