Apr 28, 2015 | By Tim Powers

Shit 12 Steppers Say

12 Step Recovery

As a person in recovery, I catch myself saying some pretty funny shit relating to sobriety. I think we all can relate to that in one form or another.

It can be around the tables at a 12-Step meeting, at homegroup picnic, sitting at the coffee shop or anywhere else sober folks gather…those pearls of sage advice and wisdom flow freely from the tongue. Sometimes it is meant to keep us focused on our recovery and sometimes it just is like WTF…no matter what the intention, we 12 Steppers are full of colorful sayings.

Who says we are a glum lot?

At any rate, a friend of mine told me about this video floating around on YouTube called “Shit 12 Steppers Say”and I about spit out my Diet Coke… more than once. In just 2:36, actress Frankie Norstad pretty much covers all the things we say. I watched it more than once, and I think you will too… it is funny.

The following list are the things we say. Check out the video below and check out some of the other videos she has on Youtube.

The Shit 12-Steppers Say

I’m only having one

Have you prayed about that?

Your higher power can be a doorknob

You’re powerless

You just got to turn it over

You should talk to your sponsor

Totally addicted to my phone…

It’s totally not my fault

It is totally all about the 3rd step

When is the last time you went to a meeting?

Have you tried meditating?

God want give you more than you can handle…

You should write about it

This coffee….is so gross

I think my sister is totally high

I mean…what about me?

I think my brother is high

This is my last one…

I think my grandma is high

Let go and let God

Anything you truly let go off had claw marks all over it

You should go pray in the bathroom

What would your Higher Power say?

Is nasal spray a relapse?

Sex is such a drug

I’m getting a new tattoo

You should just help someone

Like…get out of yourself

My sponsor/therapist/addict says….

I suck at meditation…

Do you think these have alcohol in them?

Do you think it is a relapse if I smoke crack on the weekends?

Doesn’t she know who I am?

Easy does it….

Is 800 milligram Ibuprofen a relapse?

Just one more…

Just this once…

One day at a time

When I take cocaine and put it on my gums, is that a relapse?

What step are you on?

Do you think she is high

Television is such a drug

Sex is a drug

Chocolate is crack

Bananas are totally a drug

Do you like my new glasses? I just bought them

I spoke at this rehab, and there was this really hot guy/girl there….

That’s the 13th step…

Do you like my new bracelet? I just bought it

It’s gonna be different this time….

Do you like this hat? I just bought it

I need coffee

I totally co-signed that

Are you high?

I have such a sugar hangover

Recovery is not for people who need it, it’s for people who want it

…newcomers…

I’m just saying….

Is Metamucil a relapse?

Let go or be dragged….

It doesn’t really count if I have already had sex with him/her right?

You can’t save your face and ass at the same time….