Apr 3, 2014 | By Tim Stoddart

Dixie’s Story

Personal Addiction Recovery Stories

My name is Dixie M.  I am truly honored to share my experience, strength and hope.

My addiction to alcohol and drugs came on fast.  I had no idea what addiction was in the beginning.  My mother and father were both alcoholics.  The drinking, yelling, the abuse, the police over all the time… I thought was normal growing up.  When I realized I had a problem…I knew it wasn’t normal.  My mother and father are both gone now, they received the ultimate freedom from this disease. I on the other hand, still fight daily with this spiritual malady.  Thank God there is a solution.

The drinking began for me when I worked in a bar.  I thought for sure I could work there without drinking or smoking…and I did…for just a little while.  Then I began to drink and smoke cigs daily at work, drive home drunk with not a care in the world.  If was all about me.  Then as it got harder to work in that environment, I started doing the heavier stuff.  The fun stuff…yeah it lies.  I felt good when I did it and I felt no emotional, physical or mental pain.  I was numb.  Then I sobered up for a lil while after I had my son.  The relationship in was in was nothing but late drunk nights.   The abuse began, trips to the ER, stitches, teeth knocked out etc.  long story short…I left, went back to the bar where my addiction really took ahold of me.  I started using and drinking very heavily.  I was getting high before, during and after work.  Then I met someone who promised to take me away from the lifestyle.  I believed him and moved in with him.  Things were great.  He worked out of town often and I would “just” drink while he was gone.

One day I stumbled across his stash of drugs.  Needless to say, it began again.  This time I was introduced to the needle.  That was the end of it for me.  I could not get any higher than the 1st time, but I tried 24 hours a day.  One day it got so bad that I ended up in the ER.  I had MRSA in both arms, and in my blood.  I was admitted and told that I would come out of surgery with no arms.  My God really is faithful and loving to me, I came out of surgery after flat lining 3 times with both my arms.  I have scars, but they are my stripes.  After that, I stayed so ER for about 6 months.  Then I met a guy. We hit it off good.  But I wasn’t sober for long.  This disease is so patient.  I landed myself in jail for 90 days away from my family, drugs, alcohol..away from everything that could damage me or enable me.  That was a blessing for sure.  I renewed my relationship with the one I was so angry with…God. I attempted every church service, AA and NA meeting I cod while detained.  My jail time saved my life.  God knew what I needed.  If almost losing my arms and dying didn’t stop me…He knew what would.  For a few years anyways.

In 2008 I got married, had a sweet baby boy, a house, nice paid off cars,  I was doing online classes for med school.  Life was great.  I was clean, sober and attending meetings, working the steps, doing service work, staying prayed up.  I was doing everything I was supposed to do to be a productive member of society.  Then, in 2011 my mother passed away in my arms. I was crushed. I couldn’t understand why?..i was doing everything right.  Why take my mom away from me?

Then my malady was back.  I was a dry drunk, for about 3 months and then my relapse happened.  I ended up in my disease for 6 hours and back in the hospital I was, then Treatment.    My marriage failed, lost my baby, house, car and my sobriety date.  I moved to my cousins house and I continued to drink.  I had a full time Jo. And was getting my kids. I did controlled drinking.  Then I relapsed o. My DOC one night and it just hit me..WHY are you doing this to yourself? Your powerless over this disease.  You can’t drink, you can’t use NO MATTER WHAT.

I came home and confessed and went straight to a meeting.

I’ve been clean and sober now for 21 months and I know how to deal with life on life’s terms.  My father passed 3 weeks ago and I didn’t have to drink or use.

My life is good now.  My family loves me, my kids love me and I love me.  And my HP has renewing grace every day.  I attend meetings,  work withy sponsor, help others and do service work.  It’s NOT all about me any more.  It’s about helping others.  I’m truly grateful and blessed.  I have to continue to keep my spiritual connection so I can walk in the sunlight of the spirit!!!!    ODAAT!!!   Keeping it simple!!  Thank you for letting me share.  I’ve never shared my story before. 🙂