We Are The Lucky Ones – Finding Serenity In Regret

Finding Serenity In Shame And Regret

I’ve faced a tremendous amount of regret and remorse living as a black out drinker for decades.

There’s nothing worse than the feeling of waking up to realize you’ve hurt the ones you love in a way you can’t make up for, all because you were intoxicated. Then comes shame, having no idea how you’ve behaved until you hear the story from someone else. It leaves you in a state of shame. Did I really do that? How embarrassing, I never would have done that sober… you know the drill. I inherited my disease from my father. Fortunately, I’ve had enough sober time to process regret, shame, and remorse and […]

Why I Don’t Believe In Happiness (And Neither Should You)

Why I Don't Believe In Finding Happiness

When I decided to stop getting high, I told myself that I just wanted to be happy.

Isn’t that what everyone wants?

At the end of the day isn’t it about just being able to feel good about yourself? Isn’t it about spending your days in a perpetual state of bliss and happiness?

That’s what people say, and I’m here to tell that is a myth.

One of the things that sobriety has taught me is that happiness is not something you can get or even earn. Happiness is a by-product of something bigger. Being happy is an effect.

An effect of what? Happiness is the result of being whole.


4 Things Sober People Do That Most People Don’t

4 Things Sober People Do That Others Don't

I have such respect for people in recovery.

It takes a great deal of discipline and sacrifice to do the things necessary to stay sober a day at a time. Granted, sobriety is not a cookie-cutter scenario. Everyone has a different journey and a different personality so there are always idiosyncrasies involved with everyone’s unique recovery program.

Through all of our differences, I have observed certain character traits that exist in most people in recovery. These character traits may be there from birth, or maybe they have evolved.

Let’s get started!

1 – They Self-Reflect

They have to.

For addicts and alcoholics, the drink or the drug is always […]

5 Reasons You’ll Never Get Sober (And Remain Miserable)

5 Reason's You'll Never Get Sober

Getting sober is hard.

It’s a very strange phenomenon. With all the pain, heartbreak, trouble with the law, family turmoil and ill health that goes hand in hand with addiction – in some ways it is easier to continue using drugs.

Getting sober requires action. It requires doing things that you don’t want to do. Most importantly, it requires you to have faith that in some way somehow, it will all pay off.

That’s why they call it a “leap of faith.” To get sober demands blind faith that what you are doing today, is somehow going to pay off in the future. That is very uncomfortable. It is against the […]

Why Can’t You Stop Drinking After That First One? [Podcast]

Why Can't You Stop Drinking After That First

What is it about the alcoholic mind that makes it nearly impossible to stop once you have started?

There is a lot of science behind this question. Lots of research has been done and discoveries have been made that differentiate the difference between how alcoholics and non-alcoholics metabolize alcohol. It is very fascinating and worth learning about.

Paul also gives his voice about what this means for the disease concept of alcoholism. There are many opinions on this topic, but the majority censes is that alcoholics have different brain chemistry and therefore the disease of addiction needs to be treated as such.

This should remove the stigma and […]

Parent’s Release Video Showing The Effects Of Ecstasy On Their Daughter

amy thompson

A video of a teenage girl who was left in a coma after taking the ecstasy-like drug MDMA has been released by her family.

Amy Thomson’s life changed dramatically after she collapsed at a party in Glasgow in June and remained critically ill in the hospital for a month.

Doctors were slowly able to stabilize the 16-year-old and in August she was transferred to a specialist rehabilitation unit for people with brain injuries. [via telegraph.co.uk]

The footage shows the effect the pill has had on 16-year-old Amy Thomson, who collapsed after taking MDMA in June

This type of story is just damn heartbreaking. This poor girl.

It is always a bit of a […]

Which Came First, the Alcoholism or the Impulsive Behavior?

Understanding Impulsive Behavior

I’ve been impulsive for as long as I can remember. For the purpose of this article, “impulsive” implies acting without forethought. It began as a kid in a tree. My brothers would climb high enough to stress my mom out, and I would have to climb even higher than them, not only to beat them but to stress her out even more. I didn’t realize that I would get so high in the tree I couldn’t come down on my own.  This is so relatable to addiction and recovery that’s it’s almost a pun.

Impulse control is probably one of my worst character defects. Don’t get me wrong, impulsive decisions have brought me to some […]

Thousand’s Of Students Found To Be At Risk Of Suffering From Addiction

student drinking problem

As our nation faces an addiction epidemic, it is becoming more and more clear that our youth are in need of support within their schools and throughout the community to help curve this issue. Now more than ever, it is time that our schools take further action. This is an issue we can no longer ignore. Our youth are dying or if anything many of them are on their way. How much more is it going to take? Our future is held, in part, within the next generation and from what I am seeing they need our help. How many more people have to die or be impacted by the disease of addiction before […]

How The American Prison System Preys On Drug Addicts

prison system

It’s no secret that the American judicial system prefers to throw people in jail.

Recently, there have been some improvements and steps taken on the mass incarceration problem in America. President Obama held a press conference and pardoned 46 criminals.

This is positive, but the fact is that there are millions (yes, millions) of men and women still rotting in cages for non-violent, mostly drug related offences. The more I learn about this, the more angry I become.

The prison problem has escalated since the implementation of Reagan’s Drug War and Mandatory Sentencing. The total incarcerated population in the U.S. is a staggering 2.4 million — a 500% increase over the past 30 years.

8 Skills In Recovery That Will Last A Lifetime And Make You A Better Person

skills in recoveryNothing in life comes free.

They say the best things in life are free, but that’s not really true. Anything worth having in life takes time and practice. This is especially true in recovery.

I’ve heard the expression that staying sober is like “walking up a down escalator.” If you are staying still, you are actually falling behind. I find a lot of truth in that.

Learning new skills and tools is very similar. It takes maintenance to keep the blade sharp. The upside however is that learning these skills will improve your recovery, your life and overall make you a better person.

1 – Show Empathy

I struggle with this.

When people relapse and […]

Young People in Recovery Receives $1 Million Dollar Pledge from Life of Purpose

ypr and life of purpose

(Denver, CO)—Young People in Recovery (YPR)—a national grassroots advocacy organization focused on creating recovery-ready communities throughout the nation for young people in or seeking recovery—today announced that Life of Purpose, a South Florida behavioral health conglomerate, has pledged a $1,000,000 unrestricted gift to YPR.

“This unprecedented $1,000,000 gift is about more than just money, it is a call to action for recovery philanthropy to be taken to the next level,” said Justin Luke Riley, YPR President and CEO. “We will use this to leverage our efforts across the youth recovery advocacy movement. Most importantly, this gift represents hope and validates that young people in recovery are extraordinary and worthy of […]

A Bottom That Could Have Been Someone’s Ground Level


I started using when I was 17 years old. I thought I was just like everyone else when it began.

After I graduated high school, I wanted to get out of my home town as fast as I could. I went to the University of Minnesota in Duluth. I made some really great friends, had a ton of fun, and did pretty well in school; I even accomplished a 4.0 my last semester there. I was a cheerleader for football and basketball. I lived with 5 other girls that I had a blast with.

After a year and a half at UMD, loving it, my best friend passed away. Lost and totally terrified of “doing” life without him, my “secret box”, drinking […]

4 Tips To Get Out Of Your Sober Bottom

get out of your sober bottom

This isn’t making any sense…

You got sober, you took the hard road and you succeeded. You haven’t touched a drink in years and yet… you feel like shit.

Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? How can I get back to feeling the way I used to? Where can I find my pink cloud?

It is common to hear people in recovery talk about their sober bottoms. Sometimes, for whatever reason, depression can sit in and get you in a rut.

RELATED: Depression In Recovery

I know first hand what this feels like. Everyone, no matter what your social or financial status, has days where it all […]

5 Ways To Avoid Relapse In A World Of Temptation [Podcast]

tips to avoid a relapse

Relapse is not a requirement.

That feeling when you wake up after a “drunk dream.” The instant fear and disappointment that you just let every body down and you relapsed. Soon after, the comfort comes in and you realize that it was all just a dream.

Some drugs have different relapse rates than others. Most relapses occur from drinking alcohol. The legal drug seems to be the one that causes most of the problems.

Temptation is everywhere. It seems that we can’t escape it. When we hang with friends, when we watch tv, when we cruise on social media, or even if we are alone with our own thoughts it is […]

4 Qualities You Should Look For In A Sponsor

what to look for in a sponsor

All 12-steppers can attest to it.

“Don’t drink. Go to meetings. Get a sponsor.”

Recently 12 step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous have been criticized due to ideology differences, alternative options to A.A. and low overall statistics when looking at long-term success rates.

A.A. is still the most widely used, widely celebrated and most recognized track to sobriety. People are very passionate about AA, and they should be. For millions of people, AA saved their lives and gave them a life worth living.

A.A. is not however a fool proof system. One important criteria in completing the 12 steps is to have a sponsor who is willing to take you through. […]

Taking A Daily Inventory. Choose To Feel, Choose To Change

daily inventory

When my head hits the pillow at the end of the day and it’s so quiet I can hear the silence around me. When I allow myself to melt into my bed, my day begins to unravel.

Thoughts circle and spin above emotions I didn’t realize I was feeling all day. My heart is tired and it aches. I stare at the ceiling and decide to let go, to breathe. I decide to let go of control and allow the process to work.

Suddenly the tears begin to fall down my cheeks uncontrollably. Like cleansing drops of rain I release all I’ve held in for the day. There are so many things I’m recovering from […]

If The Media Treated Alcohol Like Other Drugs [Podcast]

if the media covered alcohol like other drugs

Alcohol is legal. Alcohol plays an important role in the American economy and also American culture.

Everyone has a different opinion, my personal opinion is that alcohol should always be legal. Prohibition does not work and we know this from our own history.

It should be noted however that alcohol is by far the most deadly drug in America. There are 88,000 reported alcohol-related deaths in the U.S. every year. Most of the attention goes to harder drugs such as heroin or crack cocaine. However, heroin alone reports 9,000 deaths per year. Marijuana has reported ZERO deaths in the last year, or the last thousands of years […]

Losing Someone To Drug Addiction: 5 Ways To Provide Meaningful Support


With all of the sophistication of modern man with our technology and advanced ways of thinking, the concept of death remains of the great mysteries of life and is a concept that many struggle to face and define.

Like the rising and setting of the sun, the life of life, death and the dash in between is inevitable. One day, we all will die–and we must find a way to come to terms with it, accept it, and find ways to squeeze the marrow of every second we have on this spinning blue orb located 93 million miles from the sun.

When people die in our lives, the process of grieving, mourning and resolution is […]

The Keys To Long Term Recovery

do you want to stay sober

We live in a culture of now.

In our sound byte, bite-size, micro-chipped here today gone later today world, we want results–and we want them yesterday.

We want flatter stomachs and washboard abs, and we want our debt forgiven and our hairlines to return to normal. We want to wash the gray away and diminish the fine wrinkles associated with aging. We buy specially formulated elixirs and hardened pieces of plastic and give our hard earned scratch to gurus in three-piece suits that have the answer to everything.

If only it were 1-2-3.

While we desire the ideal, reality will smack us square in the kisser and we will have to […]

4 Ways To Overcome Resentments in Your Recovery


No matter how much clean and sober time you may have under your belt, your addiction is a cunning and subtle beast–and it will try to find a way to worm back into your grey matter and set up shop.

You can be at the top of your recovery game. You are working your program of recovery like a boss and doing all the things you need to do to stay happy and sober–and yet there are moment where the recovery motor skips a beat and your wheels get mired in the mud.

While getting stuck in neutral is a normal part of the recovery process, staying stuck can be problematic–very problematic. If you aren’t […]