This is one part to a series written by Susan Silva on her blog A Mother’s Heart. Please check out the rest of the series, which will also be posted here on Sober Nation.
In order to do this we have to first get the words out of our mouth…
Help! I am the mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife of an addict. With that finally out in the open we can find the support, encouragement and even accountability we will need to walk the path of our Recovery.
Allison Bottke says it best in her Book when she says:
(pg 111) “As the first step of stopping our enabling behavior is being implemented, enjoying the support of others is crucial. Parents in pain need support; understanding, encouragement and accountability from others who have traveled this painful journey and come out on the other side – or those who are currently walking the journey with us… (pg 116) Many parents have grown accustomed to maintaining a kind of silent shame about the circumstances and issues surrounding their adult children. Assembling a support group is the last thing we want. Yet is one of the first things we must do to gain strength in a season of life that will most certainly require every ounce of fortitude we can muster”
I think this is one of my favorite components of the Sanity principals. If I had stayed alone in my pain over being the mother of an addict I don’t know where I’d be today. I am blessed to have an amazing support group,and I strongly believe that each of us needs this more than we are willing to admit.
Mine consists of:
My husband; a man who loves me with every fiber of his being and has unselfishly loved my son (his step son) even though many times he was the target of the theft that occurred due to my son’s need for more drugs. My man has held we when I have cried, cheered me on as I got stronger and never once stopped me from seeking other support and help.
I have some very dear girl friends that though they do not have an addict in the family, they have had my back. We would meet once a week for dinner and it was at one of these dinner times that one of them handed me Allison’s book. These women have directed me, encouraged me, asked some hard questions; like… “How long are going to keep doing that”. My dearest and best friend Gayle (read her blog here) has helped me dig deep inside of myself and often has encouraged me to place it all in the hands of God. The one who knows my son and loves him even more then I do.
And along the way I have met another parent of an addict, (read his blog here) who is a few years ahead of me on this journey. His wisdom and forthrightness has helped push me forward, and has helped me believe in myself. And has been a model of what this Journey can bring, with its twists, turns, valleys and joys.
I urge you, Assemble a group of people around you. You will need them on your Journey to Recovery, put aside your fears and shame. Stop worrying about what other people will think of you when you tell them…
“I need help, I’m the _________ of an addict.”